Sewing The Seed

So....I bet you’re all wondering whether hubby was able to stay sober at the wedding!? Well, you’re going to have to wait a little longer.... I need a little bit of a build up.

The Friday before our wedding was hectic, running around doing last minute things, trying to tick off every last thing from the list as well as still pack our bags as we had hired an estate in Macedon to have our wedding. The estate, called Lawson Lodge, has a reception centre as well as a huge house that accommodates 20 people, the perfect number for us, our parents, siblings and bridal party.

We hired the whole place exclusively, and were leaving on the Friday lunchtime to head up there with our nearest and dearest to relax, finalise all the preparations, and to do our wedding rehearsal. Hubby and his band mates had chosen this day to do the final mastering of their cd. They all had the day off because they were in the bridal party, so of course they knew they’d have nothing better to do, and were better off keeping out of the way.

Once they finally got home, the cars were packed, and we all jumped in and headed up the Calder Fwy to Macedon to begin our wedding weekend.

As you can imagine, on arrival, can’s were cracked, bottles opened, and the booze began to flow. I tried not to get involved, I wanted to make sure all the tables were set for the reception the night before, so I could relax and just get ready the next day. So my girls and I ignored the champagne and finalised the table settings, put out bonbonnieres and place cards, organised the last minute changes and coordinated the delivery of the hired goods that we’d organised for our garden wedding the next day.

Our parents arrived, and our celebrant, as well as a few extra friends and family who had come up to help out with last minute preparations and to have dinner and drinks with us to celebrate our last night of freedom.

Everything seemed to be going well, other than the usual hiccups, the boys were all a little tipsy and didn’t listen during rehearsal, but that’s pretty normal right? Then after dinner our bridal party was getting together to finalise their speeches, they had decided that they all wanted to say a little something (all 10 of them) so they wanted to make it good. Of course the boys were just bringing up drunken stories about hubby, and one of the girls casually brought up that the day was about the bride as well. A seemingly innocent comment right!? Apparently not for one of the groomsmen who was known for his acid tongue (especially when drinking). He pretty well went off his head and half the girls came away crying. 

Great! Just what I needed, the bridal party not speaking to each other. Fantastic!

A few hours later, our parents went off to bed, everyone else was in the sports bar having a few beverage’s, and most of us girls decided to head back up to the house to get showered and jump into our pj’s to gossip as girls do the night before a wedding. I could hear some yelling, and people seemed to have decided to jump in the huge spa between the reception centre and the house. I had no problem with this, the area was closed in, and surely our friends would be respectful and keep it down a bit, especially the night before our wedding right? Wrong!

It got to about midnight, and my favourite cousin arrived after another wedding she had to attend, and was greeted by drunken idiots running around outside and then once she was inside was overwhelmed by the noise of a male and female having a heated fight, things were being thrown around, thudding noises, and yelling. It was coming from the room of the same douche that had offended all the girls by yelling at them. My cousin was ever so pleased to find out this was her partner in the bridal procession!

I let it go for a minute or two, and then went into hubby-to-be who had just gone to bed (I was very happy to see and hear that he wasn’t one of the trouble makers outside). I went into our room and said “You can hear that right?” just as he was getting out of bed seething. “Do these idiots realise it’s the night before our wedding?” He said. “I’m going to kill them!” Good grief, I thought, that’s not going to help anyone. “Let me go, surely they won’t abuse the bride.”

I banged on the door to the room which did seem to have quietened down. “If you’re hitting her, I’m going to smash you, get the fuck out here now!” I yelled... I’d never been so angry in my life. Thinking that your so called friends are having a domestic abuse issue isn’t easy to grasp, and I was ready to punch this dude if it meant getting him away from his girlfriend. They both came out looking sheepish, her half naked, getting into her bikini. “Oh no, were just mucking around, we’re getting changed to go into the spa”. Well how nice for you! “Oh it’s nice to know you’d stick up for me though if I was being abused” Oh how lovely, of course I bloody well would! “Just keep it down, its midnight, our parents are in bed downstairs, and we have to be up at 6am to get our hair and make-up done, I don’t mind people having fun, but have some respect”. They raced downstairs saying “Yeah no worries” As you can imagine I was filled with confidence.

Walking back to where my best friends were, I just muttered “I’m going to shower” and headed into my room. “What the fuck where they doing?” asked hubby to be. “Just getting ready to go down to the spa apparently” I muttered. “I’m going to kill them” growled hubby to be. “Just leave it bub, it’s not worth the hassle”. I grabbed my stuff, rushed into the bathroom, turned on the water and burst into tears. ‘I really hate people when they drink’ I thought to myself, ‘Thank god hubby to be is in bed, safe and sound, and not running amuck with the rest of them’. I sat on the huge shower floor, and cried as I shaved my legs, and washed my hair, the night before my wedding. ‘I’m not putting up with this shit anymore, I’m done with it. What am I going to have to deal with tomorrow once the free grog starts flowing if it’s this bad tonight?’

I went to sleep wondering what the next day was going to be like. I remember thinking, I’m not taking responsibility for anyone else, my Dad will kill anyone who ruins this day, all I care about is that hubby has the sense to stay out of trouble.

The next day all seemed to be forgotten. Most of the guys woke up with hangovers, all of us girls were fresh as a daisy and our hair and make-up started and that was the last I saw of my husband to be before our ceremony. I tried not to think about his friends egging him on to have a few beers while they got ready. Who was I to begrudge him a few to settle the nerves? Besides, the champagne was flowing already as the girls and I got ready, and I was happy to be marrying the man I love.

Our ceremony was amazing, and as soon as it was over, people were off and running towards the alcohol. I remember thinking to myself, ‘Settle down people, it’ll still be there after the photo’s’. But the booze was more important than people posing for our wedding shots. My now husband was getting increasingly agitated. But not because he wasn’t drinking much, but that our bridal party were more concerned with getting beers than photos. He told me he had a couple during the morning while getting ready, but that there was no chance he was letting me down today. I knew then and there that there was no chance he was getting drunk tonight. That feeling filled me with so much relief, and I didn’t care what everyone else did from that point on. All that mattered to me was that our wedding day meant more to him than drinking.

The rest of the day went off without a hitch, and was the most incredible day of my life. Other than the power going out for about 30 seconds during our bridal waltz, everything else ran exactly to plan. Everyone pretty much behaved, the venue didn’t get wrecked; only a few people spewed, either hubby or I got drunk and we still all had an amazing time! Our speeches were unforgettable, our whole bridal party were amazing, everyone had a ball, and I will never forget even one second of our day.

At the end of the night, we were hit with an extra $1500.00 to our bill from people taking booze from one of the fridges, but the fact it wasn’t my husband or I that was doing it, meant the world to me. What’s another $1500.00 if everyone had fun?

After heading back to the house after the reception, a fair few people stayed around for more drinks, and I was so happy to be with the people that meant the most to me in the world. 

When we finally fell into bed, I refused to take off my wedding dress, and didn’t want to go to sleep because it meant the day was over. We lay awake talking about what an amazing day we’d had, and how much we really did hate alcohol. I thought about times when I’d potentially ruined people’s special occasions with my drinking. It also struck me how unusual it was for my husband to stay away from the trouble, and also not encourage it. He’d not only abstained, but was so livid about other people’s disrespect when they were drinking.

I’ve never in my life been so proud of my new husband and myself for being able to control ourselves and not drink much. “Maybe this lifestyle could be easier than I thought?”

The seed had been sewn!